broke not broken

with nothing but time on my hands, i give you my thoughts

hot mama January 16, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — starrwitness @ 3:47 am
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I was inspired by this today yesterday to make some soup.  I followed the link for the recipe and saw that I more or less had everything called for….  I threw a couple of chicken breasts in the oven (I could have done with just one though….  But it wasn’t a bad thing to have too much), chopped and sauteed some shallots, heated up some veggie broth with two chipotle bouillon cubes, and then tossed everything in the pot, along with some frozen peppers (a red, green, and yellow medley no less).  Aside from cooking the chicken, which took about 35 minutes, the meal went together in 20.  It was stupid easy, and incredibly delicious!  Probably because it was super salty (I blame the frozen chicken breasts soaked in salt water).  Room for improvement: adding fresh lime juice and cilantro.  Now I know why the recipe calls for tomatoes – you need some sort of acid to balance everything out.  I find that adding canned tomatoes to soups makes them watery, so I tend to eschew them.  I’d rather have fresh tomatoes as a garnish.  I sprinkled some cheddar cheese on top, because everything is better with cheese.  In an ideal world I’d add queso fresco, or some other slighly tangier cheese.

Spicy chicken soup

Spicy chicken soup

That was my major accomplishment of the day, and I’m pretty happy with that.  I also called my insanely cranky grandfather who bitched at me for not being in contact with his side of the family who I have met only once and really don’t care about.  He also tried to allude that if I lived at home, I would somehow be better off, job wise.  I got the impression he’d prefer me to live with my father and mooch off of them rather than be on my own, making a living and being self-sufficient.  Can you see why I really dislike this man and try to have as little contact with him as possible?  Thankfully this exchange lasted less than five minutes.  One minute of it was him trying to figure out how to turn off his answering machine that had picked up.  When I was at home over the holidays, he said some really hurtful, hateful things about my mother, lumping me in with her side of the family (“You people” he called me), saying we were all ungrateful.  He’s mad that my mother sold the house that he renovated for my parents (thirty years ago, as if she hadn’t put in any effort since).  It is understandable that he’s upset that his son is going through a divorce.  It’s unacceptable that he takes that anger out on me.  My parents that are getting the divorce.  I am the ultimate loser here, grandpa.  And it’s not like I can even explain this to either of my parents (my mother would agree with me that he’s a miserable old man, and so would my father, but it’s still his dad and obviously he would want me to have some sort of relationship with him).  I’m at a total impasse.  As much as I would like to write him out of my life, I can’t.  Nothing I have ever done has pleased him, a sentiment I finally expressed to my father a few months ago, in a rare act of confessing that I have feelings.  He agreed, nothing was ever good enough for his father.  Neither of his children have lived up to whatever expectations he had for them, and as the only grandchild, clearly I haven’t either.  He has a disturbingly myopic point of view that has caused me nothing but heartache my entire life.  Apparently, I was supposed to stay within a fifty mile radius of my immediate family forever.  Moving away is my greatest affront to him.  I think I was supposed to be around to take care/entertain him and my parents.  I wonder if he blames my parent’s divorce on me too.  Clearly the point of bearing children is only for them grovel at your feet after you’ve scrimped and sacrificed for them.  I don’t have children, so I don’t know how most parents feel, but guess what – I didn’t ask to be born.  If he wasn’t comfortable with the prospect of his offspring growing up to be thankless unsuccessful ingrates, he shouldn’t have had kids.  If he thinks shaming me into having manners is going to work, he’s quite mistaken.

That’s a little rant that’s been dying to get out for quite some time….  It is impressive that one person can make me feel like the lowest, dirtiest worm in the world.  Maybe one day I will be able to make more sense of him.

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